urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot yesterdayishistorytomorrowsamysterytodayisa GIFT Rob 2004-09-19T01:11:27Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:39607 2004-09-19T01:11:27Z 2004-09-19T01:11:27Z wow...pretty much the 3rd night in a row of sitting on my ass at home, wow, im a loser. All of my friends are either busy with their significant others, or working. I've got a job, but when im not working, im usually bored, fucking computer and internet and my guitars have been my best friends lately... i really am a loser.... maybe i need to find some new friends, or (god forbid) a girlfriend. I just hate being at home, but im not gonna go out like a fuckin loner. Its just that everyones always too busy. <br /><br />Ah well, i might as well go to sleep, but im not tired. Fuck! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:39347 2004-09-13T17:29:11Z 2004-09-13T17:29:11Z staind "epiphany" whoever said "time heals all wounds" was full of shit... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:38926 2004-09-07T13:42:41Z 2004-09-07T13:42:41Z Ill take nicole kidman and explicit sex thank you!<br /><br /><br /><table style="font-family : Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid black;" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center"><form action="http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?meme=1074687758" method="POST"><tr><th colspan="2" bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#DDDD88">Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/crispnite/"><font color="#DDDD88">crispnite</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">LJ Username</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input type="text" name="LJ Username" value="Detroitmaggot" size="20"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Favorite animal</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input type="text" name="Favorite animal" value="Lizard" size="20"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">You invite over...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><img src="http://www.laonda.com.ec/imagenes/rastrosyrostros/nicole-kidman.jpg"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">They bring...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><img src="http://blt.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/p1169431reg.jpg"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">You talk about...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><img src="http://www.alma-mahler.at/images/int_postcoitus.jpg"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">You end up...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">having explicit sex</span></td></tr><input type="hidden" name="un" value="crispnite"><input type="hidden" name="meme" value="1074687758"><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><font size="-1" color="#FFFFFF"><a href="http://memegen.net/"><font color="#DDDD88">Quiz created with MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:38782 2004-08-29T19:22:37Z 2004-08-29T19:22:37Z Unloco "Failure" Maybe I, <br />I didn't seem to have a thing left to say<br />I bottled it far away<br />Maybe I, <br />I tried too hard to find someone to blame<br />Maybe it's me who changed<br />And now, I'm left with nothing again<br /><br />So what if I lost everything?<br />Would you want me if I was a failure?<br />So what if I lost everything?<br />Would you be there even when I am gone?<br /><br />Maybe I, <br />I didn't seem to give everything away<br />Not because I needed you to stay, and I<br />I couldn't face the fears I left far behind<br />I try to answer every question to why...<br />I'm left with nothing again<br /><br />So what if I lost everything?<br />Would you want me if I was a failure?<br />So what if I lost everything?<br />Would you be there even when I am gone?<br /><br />Maybe you couldn't see<br />All the pain inside of me<br />And now I feel like this was all for nothing<br />'Cause I'm left with nothing, I'm left with nothing again<br />So what if I lost everything<br />Would you want me if I was a failure<br /><br />So what if I lost everything<br />Would you want me if I was a failure<br />So what if I lost everything<br />Would you be there even when I am gone<br /><br />So what if I lost everything?<br />Would you want me if I was a failure?<br />-------------------------------------------<br /><br />So does any of it really matter at all anymore?<br />I feel like I've lost everything, I honestly feel like that song describes my life. I dont want pity, and I dont wanna feel sorry for myself, its just hard. I feel like such a failure. No job, barely any money, living at home at 21, and now I am officially the only single one in whats left of the Krew. I mean even Brad is happy with someone now (no offense brad, but you know what i mean) It seems like everyone is happy, and everything is fine for everyone...but its not. Maybe I am a failure. I cant keep a job, I cant keep a girlfriend, I cant be happy. Im usually a patient, rather calm, collected person, you all know that. But theres a time in your life, when you feel like a failure... and ive reached that point, and at first i thought maybe im just being stupid, but its really started to get to me, its starting to really hurt. Im starting to see what brad was saying when he used to say that it hurt him to hear about how happy everyone else was. I know it sounds stupid, but it breaks my heart. I've really been alone for so long. I'd just like to be happy. I'd like to be able to find someone who would make me happy, but nobody wants a failure... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:38573 2004-08-26T01:11:50Z 2004-08-26T01:11:50Z So I just watched "Girl Next Door," for the second (or is it third?) time. Yeah, I know, Elisha Cuthbert is gorgeous, and like i tell people, i didnt get both seasons of "24" on DVD for Kiefer Sutherland, ya know? LoL.<br /> It was a decent flick, but, and I know this sounds really cheesy, but theres this speech that the main character gives in the flick that made me think(slightly paraphrased):<br /><br /> Life. What is life all about? I used to think it was about getting what you want. The perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect future. But lately, I've been seeing it differently. I've realized that its about finding that one thing you really care about, that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her, you risk it all. You put her in front of everything, your future, your life, all of it. Maybe sometimes the stuff you do to try to help her isn't always good or right. But ya know what? it doesnt matter. Because in your heart, you know that the juice is worth the squeeze.<br /><br />It really made me realize. Especially now, that I dont have a job, im pretty broke and im hanging on by a thread. I've been here before, down and depressed, but back then there was something-- someone there that kept me sane, kept me grounded in reality. And at the time I thought I knew what was best, but that was my downfall, listening to myself, and at the same time not listening to myself. If I had, would have realized that she was what was best for me. She was the one special thing that meant more to me than anything else in the world... she still does. I found her, and I tried to fight, but not in the way I should have. I didn't put her in front of everything else, when I really should have. I would risk it all for her if I had that chance again. My future, my life, everything, because the truth is, not one bit of it really does matter. I just want what I had again, to love and be loved. To have that special something that mattered above all else. I realize that now that I have nothing to get in the way of it, but I should've realized it then. My job, my money, my future, my friends, they're all so important in their own ways but i guess john lennon was right when he said "all you need is love." And I never really knew what it was to be in love until I met her. Yeah we had our problems, but what relationship doesnt have difficulties? But at the heart of it all, I love her, because she not only loved me back, but she kept me sane, kept my feet on the ground. She left because I wasn't the man I should've been. If I fight for anything now, it would be to get that feeling back... to get <i>her</i>back Because the risk is worth it, and nothing else matters much anymore. <br /><br /> I dont know whether you still reads this journal, but I want her to know that despite everything we've ever argued about, that Alyssa, you still mean more to me than anything else in this world. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:38147 2004-08-19T14:38:34Z 2004-08-19T14:38:34Z limpbizkit(dont shoot me): "Drown" Hey guys,<br /><br />not much to say here. Once again out of a job. This job really wasnt for me and for the most part it sucked. I really liked working with all the people(for the most part) that I worked with. But alot of them talked shit, and were a bunch of disloyal bastards. My boss was cool up until yesterday when he started calling me lazy for no good reason. I busted my ass more than half the people there, and he calls me lazy? bullshit. Then today I decided to call and quit, I got his answering machine, and left a voicemail, so he calls me back and says, and I quote: "Get your fucking ass into work you little bitch." Ha! Yeah thats really gonna make me wanna work for you. My boss thinks hes a hard ass cuz hes a 25 year old ex-gang member who likes to talk shit. Then hes all "ive got a family and a living to make, and if you're not into the job, by all means dont hang around, there wont be any hard feelings or personal resentment" then when I do decide to quit after a week of thinking it over, he talks shit to me. Fucking Pussy. So Im once again out of a job. Ive realized something. The economy in michigan and the country overall sucks. We all know its Bush's fault. But personally, every job I've had since Dearborn Music has screwed me, either out of pay, out of hours or what have you. My parents are behind me which is cool, my dad offered to cover most of my bills until i get back on my feet. I hate being in debt to my dad but until I find a new job, its what I have to do. I've been out looking for a job, but Im not sure if anything will materialize. If any of you know anywhere thats hiring, please let me know, I'll do just about anything with the exception of the food service industry right about now. <br /> In other news, KC seems to be blowing me off lately. She claims that its because her uncle is in the hospital, and I really have no reason to disbelieve her. Last night we went to dinner @ Red Robin (its where she wanted to go) and she was flirting with the fucking waiter right in front of me! I dont know if she really gets that I wanna be with her or whatever, I dont have time to waste on her anymore. But I'd love to actually find someone that wants to be with me, because right now I'm semi-lonely, I havent seen most of my friends in months, and I find myself dwelling on the past quite often. To brad, KT, danielle, frank, justin, stef and anyone else in the Krew, I miss you guys. If you guys let me know your schedules, I'd love to hang out with y'all again in the future. I know you're all busy, and I guess we all saw it coming but brad was right all along. The Krew is falling apart, if it even exists anymore. Therapy from real life... yeah, only when they're around, but its true. My life is shitty right now, and in the end all I got is my friends. So if any of you are interested in hanging out anytime soon let me know.<br /><br />Peace,<br />Phetus urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:37935 2004-08-15T18:59:13Z 2004-08-15T18:59:13Z <div align="center"><form name="quizform" target="_new" action="http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=17854" method="post"><br /><table border="1" bordercolor="#000000" bgcolor="#90BED5" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2"> <tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="083360"><a href="http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=17854" target="_new" style="text-decoration: none;"><font style="color : #ffffff; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" color="#ffffff"><b>Personality Quiz</b></a></font></td></tr> <tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">LJ Username </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><input type="text" name="in0" size="32" maxlength="64" value="Detroitmaggot"></td></tr><tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your Hair Color </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><input type="text" name="in1" size="32" maxlength="64" value="brown"></td></tr><tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>You tend to be...</b> </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>A Drunken Maniac</b></font></td></tr><tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>You listen to...</b> </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Mormon Tabernacle Choir</b></font></td></tr><tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>At your funeral...</b> </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>No one will come</b></font></td></tr><tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>You are skilled at...</b> </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Knitting</b></font></td></tr><tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>You will marry...</b> </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>frumious_alice</b></font></td></tr><tr><td><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>You look...</b> </td><td bgcolor="#D8F3F3"><font style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Drunk</b></font></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#083360"><input type="submit" name="submit" value="Try Your Answers!"></td></tr> <tr><td colspan="2" align="center"><font size="-1" style="color : #000000; font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>This <a href="http://www.kwiz.biz/" style="color : #000000;"><font style="color : #000000;" color="black">cool quiz</font></a> by <a href="http://www.kwiz.biz/userprofile.php?userid=21098"><font style="color : #000000;" color="#000000">soporifical</font></a> - Taken 2640 Times.<img src="http://images.kwiz.biz/kwizcount.gif" width="1" height="1" border="0"><br /></font>&lt;/a&gt;</b></font></td></tr></table><font style="font-family : Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">New - How do you <a href="http://www.datingtips.ws/" style="text-decoration: none;">get a guy to like you?</a></font></div><br /></form></font></font></font></font></font></font></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:37730 2004-07-27T21:42:11Z 2004-07-27T21:42:11Z So Im still slightly in debt (yeah, right... slightly) so I need to get some money QUICK. But other than that things are going okay. My job is the shit even though I havent been in 2 days. Yesterday, me, Luke, Paula, Steve, and Justin all went to the Linkin Park/KoRn/Snoop Dogg show at Pine Knob last night. It was the shit, and my voice is fucking shot(hence the reason Im not at work right now) I had this 27 year old blonde all freakin on me the whole show, and she was with this guy, and when i looked over at him she whispers "dont worry about my brother" lol. So I got her number, she was supposed to come over to my house for a party last night, but she lives in lansing. Things are definetely looking up in the women dept. Since my parents have been gone away in Washington state (they get back tonight), I've had a few little get together/parties at my house, and Ive gotten numbers and shit from like 4 or 5 different girls. Originally I called Lauren over cuz I had her number from before, but then she showed up with this really hot friend named KC, who was flirting with me all night, we're sposed to hang out later. But shes 17 so shes got a curfew and shit, which sux. Other than that, Justin and Steve brought two friends over after the concert last night, and this cute lil half Korean chick was hitting on me and I got her number. Other than that, Im still talking to Julie, the bartender I mentioned before, and Kristie, the girl I met at the show last night. If I had to rate my scale of who Im most interested in its probably KC, Julie, Kathleen(the korean girl), and Kristie, we'll see how this works out. <br /><br />I guess I'll bail now and talk to you guys later, peace urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:37578 2004-07-20T20:29:55Z 2004-07-20T20:29:55Z So, I no longer work for the talent network, hey thats cool with me, i got a couple paychecks, a weed hookup, some great friends, and a hot 25 year old blondes bartender's number out of the job, she called me today, and we're hanging out this friday. In other news i got a new job installing and delivering home audio systems. Job is great, a buncha kickass dudes and a couple hotties workin there, but the other day, our van got jacked. we were out doing a job, and some fuckin monkey comes out brandishing a gun and told us all to "get in the fucking van and get off this side of town now!" fuckin spook. He took all our equipment and we all had to pay for it, so there went my $200 training pay. So now i realize just how much justin fuckin hates em, maybe we can start some sort of group... wait, dont they already have one of those :P. Anyways, not shit goin on lately, I'll catch y'all later urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:37338 2004-06-21T13:35:58Z 2004-06-21T13:35:58Z Seether ft. Amy Lee "Broken" Okay people, I noticed i haven't updated in awhile so here it goes. Well, its 9:00 AM right now. I was supposed to go to Math class today, but decided not to. The final is this week, but I've already missed so much class due to work, that I've come to the conclusion that I've probably already failed that class. So Im gonna register to take that one class over again in the summer at a night class. I am getting an A in English 102 though. I've never been good at math everyone always told me that my writing is where my strengths lie, maybe I'll look into that. <br /> So my SIRIUS 5 week ended saturday, bringing me back to only having one job. Talent Network is cool, but the dates for events are few and far between now that all the Senior parties are done with. It goes till October or something, so I'll hafta find another job. I've been looking into Gallagher Security, but they haven't called me back yet. I hear that KT got a job there already so I'll see if he can get me in. <br /> Okay, thats it for the business end of things...<br />Still single and it sucks. Things fell apart with alyssa as you all know, but recently i found out that all the bullshit I had been told and worried about her about was one big lie created by her friends. What the fuck is that? I was surprised to get a phone call from her the other day, but hell at least i know she's doing okay, and that she hasn't forgotten about me...yet. I would like to remain friends with her because she's still a good friend and a unique soul. I'd just like to be able to find a relationship thats not gonna fall to shit ya know? I mean with alyssa I was actually in love for the first time in awhile, but I guess that got fucked up through mistakes on both of our parts. Ah well, whatcha gonna do? Im just lonely, and I'd just like someone to spend my time with, someone who makes life worth living again. Cuz it seems that everyone around me has been able to find someone but me. <br /> As far as friends go, I haven't seen Lukedog in awhile cuz he's been so busy with his woman. We're supposed to be looking into moving into a place in august but i dunno if thats gonna happen now. I dont want another bullshit situation like it was with lynnsie. We'll see. <br /> It was good hanging with Brad, Howie, Poncho and Amanda this weekend at their new place, its a pretty nice place. Even if most of the people there did drink almost all my beer. Hopefully I'll get to see KT, Frank, Stef and Justin tonight if we do meet up. I havent seen some of them in weeks, and it kinda feels like friendships arent as strong as they used to be. I dunno. But I did see the Joesus last week, him and I went to the Pistons Parade on Thursday... it was crazy down there but I guess thats to be expected cuz we spanked the fuckin Lakers to get this Championship and its well deserved.<br /> Hmmm... what the fuck else to write about? uh... last night I went out to dinner for Fathers day/mom's birthday. May and June always kick my ass cuz in May I've got mothers day and Jade's bday, and in June its father's day, moms bday, and kates bday all right close to each other. I need another job I guess.<br /><br />Well, thats about it. My mom's goin to Wales for 3 weeks to visit my sister/neice so I'm gonna hafta put up with my Dad for 3 weeks, it sucks. Hopefully my friends will be available to give me an excuse to get outta the house. Maybe I should actually get this community service out of the way, I intended to get hours starting back in May but that never happened cuz im a lazy fucker. Comin close on one year of probation completed, only 2 years and 3 months left to go...<br /><br />Have a good day folks,<br />You know where to find me.<br /><br />Peace,<br />Phetus urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:36974 2004-06-18T03:17:20Z 2004-06-18T03:17:20Z <table border="5" bordercolor="red" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="12" width="300px"><tr><td bgcolor="white" align="center"><font style="font-family: webdings; font-size: 64pt; color: black;">U</font><font style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 32pt; color: black;">CAUTION</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="red" align="center"><font style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt; color: white;">IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP FETUS AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.</td></tr></table><br><form method="POST" action="http://www.go-quiz.com/warning-label/warning-label.php">Username:<input name="uname"><input type="submit" value="Get your warning label"><br><br /></form>From <a href="http://www.go-quiz.com">Go-Quiz.com</a></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:36825 2004-06-18T03:15:40Z 2004-06-18T03:15:40Z <table border="1" bordercolor="black" cellspacing="0"><tr bgcolor="black"><td bgcolor="black" align="center"><font style="color: white; font-size: 28pt; font-family: Arial;">PARENTAL</font></td></tr><tr> <td bgcolor="white" align="center"><font style="color: black; font-size: 30pt; font-family: Arial;">ADVISORY</td></tr><tr> <td bgcolor="black" align="center"><font style="color: white; font-family: Arial narrow;">PHETUS CONTAINS<br>EXPLICIT LYRICS</td></tr></table><br><form method="POST" action="http://www.go-quiz.com/warning-label/warning-label.php">Username:<input name="uname"><input type="submit" value="Get your warning label"><br><br /></form>From <a href="http://www.go-quiz.com">Go-Quiz.com</a></font></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:36474 2004-06-10T18:27:13Z 2004-06-10T18:27:13Z <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/1034032719_CAndreaquizlawrence.jpg" border="0" alt=""><br>Lawrence<br /><br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/theandrea/quizzes/What%20Office%20Space%20character%20are%20you%3F/"> <font size="-1">What Office Space character are you?</font></a><br> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:36169 2004-06-09T13:28:27Z 2004-06-09T13:28:27Z <table style="font-family : Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid black;" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center"><form action="http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?un=crash_and_burn&amp;meme=1074645612" method="POST"><tr><th colspan="2" bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#DDDD88">Your Homicidal Rampage! by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/~crash_and_burn"><font color="#DDDD88">crash_and_burn</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your name:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input type="text" name="Your name:" value="stephanie" size="20"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Weapon of Choice:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Aborted Fetus</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Favorite Target:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Zealots</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Kill Count:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">1,445,683,628</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Battle Cry:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">"Allow me to molest your face with this rod!"</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Years You Spend in Jail:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">20</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">How Much Money In Damages You Cause:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">$218,623,998,035,243</span></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black; text-align: center;" align="center"><table width="100%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><caption><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 48%</span></caption><tr><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#110000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#220000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#440000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#660000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#880000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#AA0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#CC0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#EE0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#880000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#AA0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#CC0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#EE0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#110000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#220000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#440000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#660000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#880000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#AA0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#CC0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#EE0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td></tr></table></td></tr><input type="hidden" name="un" value="crash_and_burn"><input type="hidden" name="meme" value="1074645612"><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><font size="-1" color="#FFFFFF">Created with the ORIGINAL <a href="http://memegen.deskslave.org/"><font color="#DDDD88">MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:35904 2004-06-09T13:25:47Z 2004-06-09T13:25:47Z <table style="font-family : Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid black;" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center"><form action="http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?un=crash_and_burn&amp;meme=1074645612" method="POST"><tr><th colspan="2" bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#DDDD88">Your Homicidal Rampage! by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/~crash_and_burn"><font color="#DDDD88">crash_and_burn</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your name:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input type="text" name="Your name:" value="Phetus" size="20"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Weapon of Choice:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Bazooka</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Favorite Target:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Penguins</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Kill Count:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">1,025,394,600</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Battle Cry:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">"Enlarge your penis with this ALL-NATURAL PILL!"</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Years You Spend in Jail:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">13</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">How Much Money In Damages You Cause:</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">$269,709,377,993,978</span></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black; text-align: center;" align="center"><table width="100%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><caption><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 99%</span></caption><tr><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#110000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#220000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#440000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#660000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#880000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#AA0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#CC0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#EE0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF" height="10"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#000000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#110000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#220000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#440000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#660000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#880000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#AA0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#CC0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#EE0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td><td bgcolor="#FF0000" height="5"></td></tr></table></td></tr><input type="hidden" name="un" value="crash_and_burn"><input type="hidden" name="meme" value="1074645612"><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><font size="-1" color="#FFFFFF">Created with the ORIGINAL <a href="http://memegen.deskslave.org/"><font color="#DDDD88">MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:35759 2004-06-02T14:16:03Z 2004-06-02T14:16:03Z The following is a dedication... to someone who will remain nameless, he knows his crime and will pay soon enough.<br /><br />the song is originally by Hatebreed, slightly adjusted to fit my situation.<br /><br />-Rob<br /><br />Your reign of terror is coming to an end<br />And all your victims' pain will be avenged<br />Taker of innocence, I want your demise<br />Tear you apart for the unspeakable things you tried to hide<br /><br />I fucking hate you<br />Every bone in my body will ache<br />'till I destroy everything you love<br />And fill your life with their pain<br /><br />Two long fucking years<br />I waited to erase all the memories<br />And you can't fucking stop me<br />My vengeance is finally born<br />Two long fucking years<br />Your reign of terror is coming to an end<br />And I have no mercy for your soul<br />Your blood is on my hands<br /><br />A call for blood for what youv'e done<br />No tolerance for what you've done<br />A call for blood<br />For what you've done<br />No tolerance for what you've done<br /><br />All their anguish, all their pain<br />All their nightmares, all their misery<br />It's all coming back to haunt you<br />Your time is up and you've no where to hide<br /><br />I fucking hate you<br />Every bone in my body will ache<br />'Till I destroy everything you love<br />The only cure for your sickness lies within your grave<br /><br />Two long fucking years<br />I waited to erase all the memories<br />And you can't fucking stop me<br />I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL<br /><br />Two long fucking years<br />Your reign of terror is coming to an end<br />And I have no mercy for your soul<br />Your blood is on my hands<br /><br />A call for blood<br />For what you've done<br />No tolerance for what you've done<br />A call for blood<br />For what you've done<br />No fucking tolerance<br /><br />Let the blood spill<br />Vengeance is mine<br />Let the blood spill<br />Vengeance is mine<br />A call for blood urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:35472 2004-05-26T16:47:38Z 2004-05-26T16:47:38Z I had to take the liberty<br />and now welcome death<br />The short drop,<br />Sudden stop,<br />That will steal my last breath<br /><br />As my world fades to black<br />I second guess my life<br />No time to wonder whats next<br />To question who was right<br /><br />My guilt was assumed<br />No fair trial<br />Don't bother to miss me<br />I died with a smile<br /><br />Do we choose now to be faithful?<br />Pick a path to follow...<br /><br />Door Number one<br />I'm free of sin,<br />But the gates are rusted<br />Warped by the corrupted,<br />They're not letting me in.<br /><br />So I move down the line<br />To choice numbered two<br />Only to find <br />It leads to the same room.<br /><br />And again with three,<br />Just like those before<br />Its the same room<br />With endless doors<br /><br />So where does that leave us<br />When our time is done<br />Are we just predestined,<br />Doomed to a single outcome?<br /><br />I look back to find a fork in the road<br />one path to the doors,<br />Another to the unknown.<br /><br />Two roads diverged in a wood<br />One is uncertain<br />One is no good<br />Finally, a choice<br />Not sure its worth making<br />Not sure which path is even worth taking<br /><br />One is untouched<br />The other embattled<br />And without another thought<br />I took the one less travelled. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:35161 2004-05-25T20:09:02Z 2004-05-25T20:09:02Z Ya know, I've never felt so alone in my entire life... you probably wont know how I feel until you hear the love of your life tell you <b>"I dont wanna see you alive or dead"</b> or <b>"if you come see me, I'll kill myself right there in front of you."</b> <br /><br />Right now, even I feel like I've died inside.<br />Makes me question how long I'll feel like this... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:35032 2004-05-24T05:31:35Z 2004-05-24T05:31:35Z Third Eye Blind "Hows It Gonna Be?" This is my last post... ever. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:34739 2004-05-24T03:58:08Z 2004-05-24T05:27:59Z Nine Inch Nails "Hurt" As a last sign of respect to Alyssa before she cuts me from her life for good, I have deleted the convo that was previously placed here. It was wrong of me to post it in the first place. I apologize.<br /><br />-Robert Denner urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:34446 2004-05-18T07:22:49Z 2004-05-18T07:22:49Z TapRoot "Time" Okay...<br /><br />I haven't updated in awhile, so here are the events of the last couple nights.<br /><br />Friday I worked in Toledo and it was pretty easy night, despite the Pistons loss i enjoyed my night. Saturday was franks bachelor party at the doubletree by the airport. Lack of strippers, but abundance of liquor. We all got sufficiently trashed, some of us passed out early on. Brad so much so that he blacked out and doesnt remember most of the night... poor brad. Anyway, sunday was a whole lotta nothing, Pistons beat the Nets and are taking it to game 7 so im optimistic about that. <br /> Tonight, I went to the stick with Griff, Luke, and Joe(jesus). It was good to see joe again and shoot the shit, I havent seen him in 4-fucking-ever. It was a good night, you gotta appreciate ladies night. At the start of the night, I noticed this cutie in a taproot shirt across the room from us, I thought to myself, "wow shes hot, thats a rare occurance to see a hot girl in a taproot shirt outside of a concert" so I go over and it turns out to be this girl Dana that I knew from High School. Back when I was a senior I briefly dated this girl Lauren and her best friend was a jr. named Dana. Now I must tell you Dana is really hot. I mean I always thought she was attractive, and always had a little crush on her even when I was dating Lauren. As I said, Ive always found her attractive, but tonight... GOD DAMN! i mean she had blonde hi-lights in her normally reddish brown hair and she looked very good. She came up to Dearborn Music & Harmony House when I worked there, and I found out shes almost as big of a Taproot fan as I am. I mean chances are I have no shot with this girl, but it was nice to see her again. I went to the jukebox and requested "Dreams," "Poem," and "Myself" then I told her to stick around cuz I requested some Taproot for her =) she thanked me, lol. We got to talking and I found out she works at Applebees, im thinking of going to visit her. Now as I said before, I probably have no chance in hell with Dana, but we got to talking about the band, and she gave me her number so we could hang out, and maybe hit up a concert when they start to tour again. Im not gonna read too much into it, but I'll be damned if it wouldn't be great to get to know a girl like her. Especially since shes got such an interest in my all time favorite band. Hopefully if we do hang out, it'll get my mind off the Alyssa situation for the time being. Alyssa seems intent on forgetting me for right now, so I'll get over it in my own way.<br /><br />I guess thats it, im gonna finish my mountain dew and go to bed, I've got class tomorrow @ 1:00 cuz im skipping math.<br /><br />Peace,<br />Phetus urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:34155 2004-05-08T16:09:11Z 2004-05-08T16:09:11Z Flaw "Recognize" Okay people, I haven't posted in here in a while, so here it goes. Its about noon right now on saturday. I guess thinks have been teetering between the good and the bad lately. At one point the scales had tipped, and I was in a bit of a downward spiral for a time. But things are starting to go okay. I've started hanging with Luke alot more lately, which is cool. Im really glad I dont have to put up with the incessant bitching from Lynnsie, and I realized how much more easy going things are without her around. Thursday me and luke went to steves cottage and got hammered, then last night we went to the game to watch the Pistons stomp the Nets by 15 points,(cant remember the score). We went to eat afterward, and some kids eating there after prom wanted to get pictures of us, cuz we had our faces painted. it was kinda cool. Then we smoked a bit, yeah I know I said I was quitting, but it was kinda in celebration of the pistons win, so its okay i guess. Talent Network is going good, I work again tonight. Im glad I got all the necessities of money out of the way, cuz although I still have an unemployment check and Talent Network, Im still low on cash, Luke is trying to get me a job at a party store that he just got hired in at. But I bought my mothers day gift, and i put some $$ aside to get jades bday gift, and send alyssas birthday package to her. I really wish I could drive down and surprise her, and I totally would. Except for the fact that her bday is the same day as Jades, and Im not totally sure alyssa would be happy with me just showing up like that. I dont want to ruin her special day like that. Im sure you all know how much I still love that girl, but Im saying it again. Im doin okay, and for a little second there i believed that I still mattered to her, and maybe I do, but its hard when you think about a person nonstop, and dont talk to them for months. I have a feeling shes got a new love interest but I can't be 100% sure. Im just hopin she still thinks and talks about me. Because I will get her back one day. She may not read my journal anymore, but Alyssa, you are my angel, my reality check, my lover, my friend. I love you so much.<br /><br />God Im a Loser, <br />Maybe I just need a little more time. Or maybe I just need to find someone who thinks I still matter. <br /><br />-Peace,<br />Robert Denner urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:34020 2004-04-26T05:18:47Z 2004-04-26T05:18:47Z Linkin Park "FRGT/10" So my last couple of days have been quite good. On Wednesday I was informed that I officially have a job with the Talent Network, and I dont start till may 8th, so it gives me some time off. Wednesday afternoon, i get a unemployment check from boulders for $660! hell yeah, until that point i was broke as a joke. Then wednesday night we left for matt and amandas place up north. It was a fucking blast! We sat around and got fucked up on a lotta alcohol and played Halo all weekend. I wish I had had more cash though cuz I would've liked to go to the casino with matt on saturday.<br /> It was an overall good vacation, aside from the bitching from danielle which I mostly ignored. On Friday night-saturday morning my phone rings, its Alyssa's number which had me confused. I answer it and its Caroline and Jessi(her friends) all fucked up. Alyssa grabs the phone and doesnt know who I am cuz shes all stoned, lol. So the next day she calls me back when shes sober which got me confused again, but it was nice to her voice again after not talking to her for awhile. Its good to know shes doing okay. But then again it makes me realize how much I miss our friendship and just talking to her for hours on end about nothing in particular. It was a comfort that I enjoyed. Hopefully within time, we can get back to that ya know?<br /><br />Anyways, today I sat on my ass after getting home from the trip around 11. I fell asleep for a few hours and then called Luke. We tried getting Steve and the guys together cuz i have 3/4 of a case of beer and half a 5th of jager in my room now left from the trip. But the guys weren't up for it. We went and shot pool at the electric stick, cuz we havent hung around there for awhile. We went to 2 different theatres to see if Punisher was playing but it wasn't. I hate sunday night theatres. So we cruised around for awhile then went to steak n shake to see if greg was there so we could make fun of him.... he wasn't. It was great hanging out with luke without lynnsie again, its been almost a year since we've hung out like that. And I can speak from a guys point of view, the shit lynnsie pulled on him was shady as fuck. She keeps callin me to see if i wanna hang out and i always tell her the same "Not so much." She's a bitch for fuckin him over like that. Luke has been my boy for quite awhile and you all know how defensive I get over my friends. But we're talking bout getting the guys together to play ball tomorrow after I get outta class, then his parents are gone for a week in mexico so Im probably gonna get fucked up silly drunk tomorrow to prepare for finals on thursday and friday, haha.<br /><br />Anyways, Peace and goodnight im gonna go to bed.<br />I dont even know why I update anymore, no one comments anymore and its starting to piss me off. so COMMENT damn you!<br /><br />-Rob urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:33669 2004-04-17T05:41:04Z 2004-04-17T05:41:04Z Kid Rock "cold & empty" hey folks, not much new here. im still broke, waiting on an unemployment check, and my tax returns that are taking for-fucking-ever to get here. So for now i have lil cash, and bills to pay. hence the reason for this entry. I came to the realization yesterday that I have absolutely NOTHING to offer Alyssa, except for maybe love. Shes so much better off without me, in my opinion. So ive come to think that theres no reason for her to come back. I mean Brads got some uplifting words to say about "having faith" and being "confident that we'll get back together" but after Ash told me that shes now considering moving to either California with her step-uncle or New York with her step-aunt, that basically says to me that Im never gonna get the love of my life back, and to be honest, it freaks me out. Because lets face it folks, im trapped in michigan for two more years, and after that, as much as id love to, all i have is hope to get out of michigan =( I know Im supposed to be "growing up" getting over it and all, but the thing is, i dont want to get over it. She still means so much to me.<br /><br /><br />Guess thats it,<br />Phetus urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:detroitmaggot:33438 2004-04-14T21:46:24Z 2004-04-14T21:46:24Z TapRoot "Free" So this past week my parents have been gone, they get back on Friday. So far I've had one or two parties, done some drinking, smoking, and for what? pretty much nothing. Im still bored. And on top of that I haven't gone to class once this week. Yeah Im growing up alright *note the sarcasm* <br /> Im 21, ive got a broadcast certification that I did pretty much nothing with, I can't keep a fucking job, and Im in school, for what? because the courts order me to? Yeah thats right, the only reason I went back to college is cuz its terms of my probation. God Im such a fucking loser. <br /> Then the other day I was thinking about what I really wanted to do in life. Music. Thats the bottom line. I was registering for classes for Spring semester and was trying to figure out whether I wanted to go for a Business Degree or Music Production. So then it hit me, why not do both? Get my Bachelor's in Business, and my Associates in Music Recording Technology. I want to own and operate my own recording studio. Now I know that throughout my life i had "goals" and "dreams" but i think that this is a logical reasonable goal to have. And most importantly, its a dream that'll get me out of Michigan.<br /><br />Its the most uplifiting thing that has happened to me in awhile.